Monday, May 27, 2013

In Memory...

It's been a year of losses....personal and as an American...

Let's remember those that have died to protect us; firemen, policemen, servicemen, every day heroes.... There have been so many tragedies due to shootings, weather, explosions, accidents and it needs to be acknowledged that Americans are phenomenal - they do everything they can to save people, animals, everything....and if need be they help re-build what was destroyed. God Bless those who serve their country, their fellow citizens, their neighbors, friends and family so selflessly...

As for personal losses -
My mom has been gone for just over 5 months, I miss her, but am dealing better with the loss. I am able to think about her more without tears. My father passed away a week ago - this one is harder in some ways but easier too. I only lived with him for maybe a year of my whole life some as a baby and the rest as a 12 year old. He had major issues, couldn't love his family, his other children had more of a taste of that than I did. He probably did me a favor by giving me up for adoption. Sad, but true. I've run the gamut of emotions, loss - but you can't lose something you never really had, my head knows it my heart is being obstinate. Anger - that pops up every now and then even with mom - it just is something we all go through with loss. Wishing...that things had been different, but knowing that I wouldn't be who I am now if things had been different. I'm stronger and more resilient because of all of the bumps in the road that I've endured. Sadness - that he couldn't express himself to any of us. I have 3 brothers and a sister through him and he really didn't leave much of a father legacy for any of us. My two youngest brothers seem to be doing fatherhood very well and for that I'm thrilled - they learned from him and are loving fathers. The oldest and my sister don't have children, like me and I'm sure it has something to do with him to some small extent. It is what it is....

On this memorial day - hold your memories of loved ones close. Remember the heroes who are protecting America and our freedoms, thank a service member, a police officer, a fireman, emt, neighbor, anyone who may have helped you when you were down...
Jeanne Britt: July 29, 1947 - January 9, 2013

Dale A Gates: July 23, 1946 - May 21, 2013

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